Matt Haig - The Midnight Library

Synopsis

If you had the chance to undo all your regrets, would you take it? This is the opportunity that Nora is presented with after trying to take her own life. Trapped between a state of life and death, Nora finds a library filled with books of all the possible lives she could be living if she had made different choices. If there is a life Nora wants to live, she will continue to live that life as though it had always been hers. However, if she does not find that life, Nora’s attempt may be realised

Likes

Despite her alternative lives initially seeming more worthwhile, Nora comes to realise that every life – no matter how exciting – has its disappointments. Regret is something that weighs on all of us and makes us think that if only we had said or done this then things would be better. And that may be true! But we will never know for certain what kind of life we would have had we made those decisions. So instead, we tend to imagine an idyllic state of what could have been, making our actual lives seem worse than they might actually be. That’s not to say that one’s life isn’t so bad as for many, it unfortunately is. But for me, it was a good reminder that no matter what regrets I have or longings I may feel, there are also things that I can appreciate about my life due to the choices that I did make. And although these are things that rest in the back of my mind, this book came at the right time and brought them to the forefront, encouraging me to be grateful for my present and intentional about my future

I enjoyed the versatility in how the story was written. For example, some chapters would be song lyrics that Nora had written, a couple would be of her social media posts showing a change in her outlook on life before and after her attempt, and another might just be 1 sentence for dramatic effect, signifying the severity of a situation. Although most of the story is written in the third person, I liked how the author challenged himself by exploring different styles and voices to further develop the story

Dislikes

Nora was unfortunately a disappointing main character. Life seemed to happen to her, and she just went along with it, making her seem like someone who lacked agency in her own life. Even when she decided that she did want to live, it was after being exposed to a life that she could have had with Ash, making him part of the reason why. Nora is someone who has so much potential and seems like she really could do anything, but it’s as though people make decisions for her and while everything else around her develops, she remains stagnant. She didn’t really seem to have much of a personality and I did find her to be quite dull which made it difficult to enjoy reading an entire book where she is the main character

Why couldn’t she just have a good life? Her life with Dan ended up being nothing short of a nightmare as he was a cheating alcoholic who belittled her. Although she had seen some of these traits in her core life, they were magnified when she actually did step into that life, making Dan seem like a terrible person - which he is - but also absolving her regret of not marrying him. Additionally, not going to Australia with Izzy was also something that plagued her so when she finally did live that alternative life, she found that Izzy had tragically passed away driving to Nora’s birthday party. However, despite the deterioration in her and Izzy’s friendship in her core life, she could take comfort in the fact that at least Izzy was alive, further alleviating her regret of not going to Australia, even though she did not have much of a reason against going to begin with. Additionally, although she enjoyed her life as a music artist, that was only until she was made aware of her brother’s death. And in order to live her life as an Olympic swimmer and have both her dad and brother in her life, her mother died much sooner, and her dad had had an affair. The alternative lives she lived were set up in a way where there would be some tragedy, resulting in her return to her core life. I appreciate that it was for the intent of showing that not everything you want plays out how you would hope and there will always be disappointments in life, but why couldn’t she just have a good life? Why did there have to be devastation to make her appreciate her core life and absolve her regrets?

I also disliked the application of some of the language techniques. There were a few instances of unnecessary descriptions which I didn’t feel added anything but confusion. For example, ‘Nora shook her head quickly, like a dog shaking off water’. I have seen a dog shaking off water and would be concerned if a human did so with such vigour. Or Mrs Elm ‘shook her head without really moving it. If that was possible’. It’s not possible! Or ‘the librarian’s smile curled at its edges, like a fallen leaf’. I was trying to visualise what this even looked like to the point that it became my focus instead of the story. And ‘Dan, she said, as if he was something that needed identifying. Like a rabbit by the road’. It was easily understood without the comparison of a rabbit! There are forced similes like this throughout which distracted me from what was happening due to how random and unnecessary they seemed

Additionally, the dialogues were bizarre. I understand that she was living alternative lives where she didn’t know how she developed as a person but the way she spoke was just so awkward at times. For example, Dan asks if Nora thought he was funny when compering and she responds “Yes. Very funny. Total funniness”. And Dan didn’t give her a strange look or anything but just carried on like this is normal for her. Or when Joe was asking how she knew Ewan’s surname when he didn’t even know it and she responded “You don’t have to understand life. You just have to live it”. This doesn’t make a lick of sense! Yet Joe just carried on like it did with no questioning how she would know something like that or what she even meant. The dialogues didn’t flow very well at times which resulted in Nora’s interactions with the other characters seeming strange, forced, and unnatural, even in her core life

I was disappointed with the ending. Although it was nice that Nora went to see the real Mrs Elm, it had been decades since they last saw one another and almost immediately after Nora offered to visit daily, Mrs Elm starts waffling about how people had given up on her as she wasn’t always a good mother, wife, nor someone people could rely on. Similarly to the previous point with the forced interactions, it just seemed like it had to end in a sort of full circle moment to show that now it was Nora’s turn to help Mrs Elm. I would have much preferred it if they just played chess without trying to force a heartfelt interaction as that would have felt more natural and a nice way to end

General Thoughts

Unlike being an Olympic swimmer, a music artist, or a glaciologist, motherhood was not something that Nora had expressed much of a desire for. Yet that ended up being the life that she wanted the most. Why did the lives she had regrets over not pursuing have to be bad and the life she hadn’t given much consideration towards end up being the one she wanted to commit to?

There is a chapter called ‘The Many Lives of Nora Seed’ which details her possible lives. I wasn’t a fan of this chapter as although we explore the different lives that Nora lived but don’t delve into, the entire chapter seemed redundant. By this point, we can surmise that Nora would have lived a plethora of different lives from the smallest of choices. It just wasn’t necessary as it didn’t add anything to our understanding of Nora nor develop the story

Nora’s alternative lives could have been ones she actually did enjoy had she not shown up at inopportune times. For example, her life as an Olympic swimmer was going well until she had to give a talk in front of a large audience which she obviously wasn’t prepared for. Although that life wasn’t all that she hoped it would be, I think that particular situation is what exacerbated her feeling that it wasn’t the life for her. Had she shown up after the talk, it may have been a life she wanted to stay in

‘A person was like a city. You couldn’t let a few less desirable parts put you off the whole.’… You absolutely can!

Her first day as a glaciologist was met with a life-threatening encounter with a polar bear, after which Nora realised that she wanted to live. I would argue that it wasn’t so much that she wanted to live, but she didn’t want to get mauled to death by a polar bear. I can’t imagine that many people would want to go that way

I didn’t understand what would trigger Nora’s exit from an alternative life. At the bottom of page 39, Mrs Elm tells Nora that “It can be subtle, but as soon as disappointment is felt in full, you’ll come back here. Sometimes the feeling creeps up, other times it comes all at once. If it never arrives, you’ll stay put, and you will be happy there, by definition”, but then on page 211 it reads ‘You only stayed in a life forever if you couldn’t imagine a better one’. This suggests that it’s not necessarily a matter of being disappointed, contrary to what Mrs Elm said

After her life with Dan, Nora is curious about what would happen to the Nora from that life after living it for half an hour and Mrs Elm responds, ‘‘She will remember what you just did and said. But as if she did and said them”. But before this when Nora says ‘’But she’ll be there in the bathroom and she won’t know how she got there’, Mrs Elm replies ‘’And have you never walked into a room and wondered what you came in for? Have you never forgotten what you just did? Have you never blanked out or misremembered what you were just doing?”. And then on page 150, Hugo says, ‘’your brain would fill in the gaps and make up a narrative about what just happened.” So does the alternative Nora know, or does she have no memory from that period? And what if Nora is in a life for days or weeks? How does that actually work?

Rating

This book revolved around Nora who I only had a surface level understanding of which was further fuelled by her lack of character development. Additionally, Nora wasn’t a very interesting character, and I was unable to develop an affinity for her. I think that the book lacked depth and may have been more effective as a novella. Despite this, the concept was interesting and I enjoyed exploring the different lives with Nora and seeing how she navigated through them

Based on this, I would give this book a 2.5/5

Would I recommend?

Despite the low rating, I actually would recommend this book. The reason being is that I read this at a point where I was full of regrets and wished I had made different choices and this book better resonated with me during that time by encouraging me to accept the decisions I did make and to be more mindful about future ones. Although I’ve read it again since, I can’t forget the feeling I had when I initially read it and I’m sure that others who feel the way I did would also appreciate this book

Favourite Quotes

‘Never underestimate the big importance of small things’